"Am I Going Crazy?" Normal Emotional Responses to Experiencing Trauma
Coping with a traumatic life event can be incredibly overwhelming and confusing. We often respond in ways that are unexpected, and feel emotions we haven’t experienced before. When we don’t understand that many of these responses are actually common and will improve we are left with thoughts like “I’m losing it” or “This has broken me” or even “I’m going crazy.”
Most people will experience emotional distress in the days and weeks after a traumatic event as their body, brain, and nervous system work to process and cope with what happened. Many people will feel better within three months of the event. Others may recover more slowly, and some may require additional help or support such as working with a therapist.
Remember, in the aftermath of a traumatic event it is normal to experience a variety of emotional responses. There is no “right” way to respond to trauma. The following responses are common, and you may feel some of these and not others. With time and adequate support you can recover.
In Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE), the following is a list that a client and therapist will review together in an early sessions for treatment of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Reviewing this list can help you to better understand the symptoms or reactions you are experiencing after a traumatic event.
“Fear and anxiety. Anxiety is a common and natural response to a dangerous situation. For many people it lasts long after the trauma has ended. This happens when one’s views of the world and sense of safety have changed and become more negative. You may become anxious when you remember the trauma. But sometimes anxiety may come from out of the blue. Triggers or cues that can cause anxiety may include places, times of day, certain smells or noises, or any situation that reminds you of the trauma. As you begin to pay more attention to the times you feel afraid, you can discover the triggers for your anxiety. In this way, you may learn that some of the out-of-the blue anxiety is really triggered by things that remind you of your trauma
Reexperiencing the trauma. People who have been traumatized often reexperience the traumatic event. For example, you may have un wanted thoughts of the trauma and find yourself unable to get rid of them. Some people have flashbacks, or very vivid images, as if the trauma is occurring again. Nightmares are also common. These symptoms occur because a traumatic experience is so shocking and so different from everyday experiences that you can’t fit it into what you know about the world. So in order to understand what happened, your mind keeps bringing the memory back, as if to better digest it and fit it in.
Increased arousal is also a common response to trauma. This includes feeling jumpy, jittery, and shaky; being easily startled; and having trouble concentrating or sleeping. Continuous arousal can lead to impatience and irritability, especially if you’re not getting enough sleep. The arousal reactions are due to the fight or flight re sponse in your body. The fight or flight response is how we protect ourselves against danger, and it also occurs in animals. When we protect ourselves from danger by fighting or running away, we need a lot more energy than usual, so our bodies pump out extra adrena line to help us get the extra energy we need to survive. People who have been traumatized often see the world as filled with danger, so their bodies are on constant alert, always ready to respond immediately to any attack. The problem is that increased arousal is useful in truly dangerous situations, such as if we find ourselves facing a tiger. But alertness becomes very uncomfortable when it continues for a long time even in safe situations. Another reaction to danger is to freeze, like the deer in the headlights, and this reaction can also occur during a trauma.
Avoidance is a common way of managing trauma-related pain. The most common is avoiding situations that remind you of the trauma, such as the place where it happened. Often situations that are less directly related to the trauma are also avoided, such as going out in the evening if the trauma occurred at night. Another way to reduce discomfort is to try to push away painful thoughts and feelings. This can lead to feelings of numbness, where you find it difficult to have both fearful and pleasant or loving feelings. Sometimes the painful thoughts or feelings may be so intense that your mind just blocks them out altogether, and you may not remember parts of the trauma
Many people who have been traumatized feel angry and irritable. If you are not used to feeling angry, this may seem scary as well. It may be especially confusing to feel angry at those who are closest to you. Sometimes people feel angry because of feeling irritable so often. Anger can also arise from a feeling that the world is not fair.
Trauma often leads to feelings of guilt and shame. Many people blame themselves for things they did or didn’t do to survive. For example, some assault survivors believe that they should have fought off an assailant, and they blame themselves for the attack. Others feel that if they had not fought back they wouldn’t have gotten hurt. You may feel ashamed because during the trauma you acted in ways that you would not otherwise have done. Sometimes, other people may blame you for the trauma. Feeling guilty about the trauma means that you are taking respon sibility for what occurred. While this may make you feel some what more in control, it can also lead to feelings of helplessness and depression.
Grief and depression are also common reactions to trauma. This can include feeling down, sad, hopeless, or despairing. You may cry more often. You may lose interest in people and activities you used to enjoy. You may also feel that plans you had for the future don’t seem to matter anymore, or that life isn’t worth living. These feelings can lead to thoughts of wishing you were dead, or doing something to hurt or try to kill yourself. Because the trauma has changed so much of how you see the world and yourself, it makes sense to feel sad and to grieve for what you lost because of the trauma.
Self-image and views of the world often become more negative after a trauma. You may tell yourself, “If I hadn’t been so weak or stupid this wouldn’t have happened to me.” Many people see themselves as more negative overall after the trauma (“I am a bad person and de served this”). It is also very common to see others more negatively and to feel that you can’t trust anyone. If you used to think about the world as a safe place, the trauma may suddenly make you think that the world is very dangerous. If you had previous bad experiences, the trauma may convince you that the world is dangerous and others aren’t to be trusted. These negative thoughts often make people feel that they have been changed completely by the trauma. Relationships with others can become tense, and it may be difficult to become intimate with people as your trust decreases.
Sexual relationships may also suffer after a traumatic experience. Many people find it difficult to feel sexual or have sexual relationships. This is especially true for those who have been sexually assaulted, since in addition to the lack of trust, sex itself is a reminder of the assault.
Some people increase their use of alcohol or drugs after a trauma. There is nothing wrong with responsible drinking, but if your use of alcohol or drugs has increased as a result of your traumatic experience, it can slow down your recovery and cause problems of its own”
While reviewing this list on your own may be helpful, it can be especially useful to review with a trained trauma therapist. Understanding symptoms and where they come from can be the first step to trauma healing. A trained trauma therapist can also help to you stabilize these symptoms and engage in trauma processing to reduce or eliminate PTSD symptoms.
A special note for survivors of childhood trauma and abuse: The resource above uses language suggesting that a traumatic event is outside of the norm of the typical experience and that is why some of these symptoms feel so shocking. I respect and acknowledge that for survivors of childhood trauma there is often no before. Trauma was and has been a regular part of life or existence. You may still have some of the reactions listed above, but they exist within a different context. You will also have some unique differences, and experience something call Complex PTSD. Recovery from trauma isn’t about returning to the safety that existed before the event, it is about finding safety and stability for maybe the first time ever.
If you are interested in a consultation for services please do not hesitate to reach out.
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